Hot for Humility

What’s this? Another personal blog? It is quite crazy, right? That’s three question-statements in a row so I’ll stop there.

I am back again, and this time it is all thanks to Soul Pancake.

After the past couple of weeks where I have been thinking about things I decided to finally check out Soul Pancake. I was intrigued when I first heard of it awhile ago as I’m a THE OFFICE fan, but never went and delved into it. However, the combination of Rainn Wilson’s appearance on THE JEFF PROBST SHOW and my current mood really lent itself to checking it out. After a few minutes on the website I knew I had to order the book.

It came on Saturday, and I immediately loved it. It’s not a cover-to-cover type of read and it’s nothing you will ever finish. It is a perfect coffee table book, something to carry around, or a conversation starter.

Where did I start? The relationship section, of course! And that is what leads me to this blog entry.

I’ll start with the first page. A little introduction story about “soul mates” from Heather Armstrong:

I know he’s my soul mate. He helps me see things differently, and I think I do the same for him. And that means it’s worth it to us to work things out…

In light of my recent blog entries you can understand why that immediately peaked my interest.

Now, in no uncertain terms do I believe this person was my “soul mate”. I’m not even sure I believe in that term, although I once did. It was the line “He helps me see things differently” that got me. In almost all of the successful relationships I’ve read about that and “communication” topped the list of why things worked. I never was afforded that opportunity in spite of us communicating well and us being different enough to experience new things (I guess I should have tried that wine that one night, right? I thought I’d have had another chance down the road… wrong).

Again, no ill will towards that woman. I miss our texts and connection, but that line in Soul Pancake irked me because it’s the “what could have been?” that is now out there in the void. That’s all. It’s the groan you do from something you think could have been different in the past. What could she have exposed me to? And vice versa. I think there is some meat to that bone. We had similar enough interests with varying tastes in genres. The litany of things we could have exposed one another to… I digress, we don’t need to go down this road, do we?

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As I leafed through the chapter I got to the writing assignment that I am about to partake in.

Hot for Humility: List Five Non-Physical Traits That Turn You On
1. Intelligence
It is, without question, my number one. It is an aphrodisiac in and of itself. I love intelligent women. That doesn’t mean they have to have an advanced degree and listen to Mozart, but it does mean they have to be open to things larger than themselves and be interesting to talk to.

2. Drive
Women who have a drive in their personal and professional lives are fantastic. They are not content to be a housewife or want to be a part of the Rockwellian portrait of a sub-servant wife. They push forward with wanting to better themselves and the people around them. Maybe they succeed or maybe they fail. That is not important. It is important that they try to be the best at what they are doing.

3. Independence
I would love to spend time with a significant other at any given opportunity, but I am not attracted to someone who needs that.

In general, I’m shy. I don’t feel comfortable in bars and/or clubs. Am I flat out refusing to attend with a potential partner? No. However, I would prefer if that was saved for a “Girls Night Out” so-to-speak. I shouldn’t be forced into a situation that makes me nervous and/or uncomfortable every time she wants to go out. Besides, everyone needs alone time with their close friends. Time apart is just as important as time spent together.

I got slightly off-track a bit, but yes… someone who isn’t dependent on the other. I love women who can do their own thing and respect that sometimes I like to do mine as well. Albeit something small like taking a walk in the light rain, or having to stay in on a Saturday night to cover a UFC event.

4. Kindness
This is a strange inclusion as I can be considered cold at times, but I mean kind in general.

We all have the ability to be rude or mean to someone we don’t like, but it’s the moments out in public in front of strangers that I mean. Holding a door open, being courteous to servers, helping the elderly, etc. Those speak more to a persons character and it is an attractive trait. Showing they care for others is always welcome.

5. Forward-ness
As mentioned previously, I am shy. I appreciate and find forward women attractive because it helps bring me out of my shell. And I don’t just mean in terms of being physical.

Maybe we are out and she is talking, laughing, etc. She would encourage me to join in.

In terms of being physical. I’m always afraid of the first move. Partly due to rejection, but more so because I don’t want her to feel as if I am looking for something more right away or to feel as if I’m being forceful. Having a significant other who makes the first move, or at least makes it blatantly clear she wants me to make that move (I’m terrible at reading “signs”, so I mean going that 90% and making me close it out).

After that glass ceiling is broken… I become more affectionate in the relationship. Especially in private. I wouldn’t hesitate to go in for future kisses, hugs, massages, etc. from that point out. However, making that first move is a point of contention for me. I don’t want to offend the other party so much that it may hinder me. I still consider that a good price to pay from being considered a dick who is only looking for physical reciprocation.

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There you have it. What are your five? Feel free to leave a comment or tweet at me (@ACCBiggz). Who knows, in a month’s time these five may not be the same. That’s what I love about Soul Pancake. As you continue to grow as a person your views and opinions change. What you may say now may not be what you say at a later date. The book does not have an end. I highly recommend it and I hope to utilize my blog for more Soul Pancake goodness in the future.

 

Love Letters

No. No, I am not writing a love letter because I am not “in love”. However, with Valentine’s Day approaching there is a lot of romantic programming on television and that got me thinking about love letters.

Whatever happened to them? So infrequent. Especially now that we are in the digital age.

Have I ever sent one? Ha. Let me break down two stories for your entertainment.

1. Second Grade
It was not a letter, but rather an elaborate (second grade elaborate) valentine that I created in art class for the girl I had a crush on. I waited until recess, and as a shy kid I gave it to a mutual friend to deliver. She obliged happily. Minutes pass and she returns with valentine in hand and says, “She says if you want her to have it then you have to deliver it.”

Now, this seems like a mature move and the right one. But I’m in second grade and think what I’ve done has sufficed. So, did I suck it up and walk it down there? No. Recess ended and I tossed it in the trash and never brought it up. Ever. Even I get a kick out of that story now. It’s too funny.

2. University
This story is a bit longer than the above. I developed a crush on a female, but she was taken. I was friends with her boyfriend and would never make a move in that situation. That’s just dickish and serves no purpose. Anyhow, we all grew fairly close together for that year. Especially me and the girl. Talked frequently and shared numerous interests.

Later in the year, they break up. However, I don’t feel any glimmer of hope because I don’t think she feels the same as I do. That was later confirmed by my roommate at the time. Bummer? Sure.

In typical Nathan fashion, I cut off contact. Not because I disliked her, but it’s just a self-preservation mechanism. I wish I could get over that even today and continue on being just friends, but those feelings that develop, or that I feel could develop, serve no purpose with no reciprocation. It’s easier for me to sever ties and move on.

Finals week rolls around for the final quarter of school and I excuse myself when she is near. “I’ll be back. I’m going to take a walk.” “Can I come too.”

Like a dagger to my heart. And, of course, I can’t deny her. She mentions she misses hanging out, etc. And we have a good talk. Later that evening I talk to one of my friends at the time via MSN Messenger and she tells me that a hand-written letter would be nice. I like the idea. These types of ideas have always appealed to me. Thus, I sit and write a multiple page letter explaining that I really like her, but understand she doesn’t share the same feelings and thus I merely wish her all the happiness and success. I seal it in an envelope and march it to the post office the next morning.

I receive not so much as a “thank you”. And yes, she did have time to talk to me about it as she lived above me the next year and was in our dorm room several times. However, I understand her not saying anything. That can be tough and awkward.

Years later, she is my supervisor for a semester of work. My then roommate was privy to the story and we are all in the office one day. He talks about his troubles with his current girlfriend and I sense the comedic timing to blurt out, “Yeah, that’s kind of like writing a letter bearing your soul and not hearing anything back for about four years.” His mouth goes agape and a smile emerges, and she exits the room swifty — stunned. Meanwhile, I’m laughing my rear-end off.

She returned, apologized. I said it wasn’t necessary as I was just making a joke. It was in the past.

I texted her trying to get the letter back that she said she still had for a friend’s wedding gift. And, no, I never got the letter back. She is married now so I hope she burned that letter. And I am very happy she found someone that makes her happy and I hope he fulfills all of her desires as they go through this life together.

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Those are my two stories about writing love letters, but I must admit… I would love to find someone to write to. I think love letters are a lost art, and I would love to write to a significant other from the point we get in a relationship until wherever that relationship takes us. As my previous blog suggests, I have been thinking about the subject of love/relationships/women/etc. for a little while. That’s just part of my make-up. I’ve been a lover of romantic stories and romance since I can remember.

Hey, it’s not just girls who dream of their wedding day. I’ve been that much of a sucker for romance since childhood.

There is just something about writing a letter, putting it in an envelope and slapping a postage stamp on it. I fear the future generations will lose this as we go deeper and deeper into the digital age. Love e-mails just are not the same. They lack that personal touch. That loving touch.

 

NIU, Wisconsin and the BCS

ESPN set social media on fire last night when Kirk Herbstreit and others discussed the Northern Illinois BCS Bowl Bid.

For those that don’t know, I’ll recap it breifly:
According to BCS rules, a non-AQ conference champion will receive an automatic bid to a BCS bowl game if: a) they are ranked in the top 16, b) ranked ahead of a BCS conference champion.

Check and check. NIU did what they had to do.

Was Kirk and company wrong in what they said? No. At least, not in my opinion. I also feel that many people misinterpreted what they were saying. Did they say NIU was an awful team? I didn’t hear that. What I heard was them saying NIU being in a BCS game was a joke BECAUSE of that asinine rule.

Could they have went after Louisville? Sure. But they’ve talked about the automatic bids for BCS conferences in years past and it is pretty much accepted at this point. The reason much more time was focused on NIU is because it’s the first time that rule has put an undeserving team into the BCS.

And no matter which way you slice it… NIU does not belong in the Orange Bowl. Sorry NIU fans, but that’s just reality.

Now, let me move on to the other side of the argument.

NIU supporters are yelling: “It’s just as stupid that Louisville and Wisconsin are in!”

I’ll give you Louisville. But leave Wisconsin out of this. They belong. Why?

Because it is the Rose Bowl. The annual, long-standing, Pac-12 vs. Big 10 Bowl. The Rose Bowl’s rule pre-BCS and post-BCS is that the champions of those two conferences will meet (unless one or both are going for a national championship). Hence, Wisconsin winning the Big Ten Championship moves them to that historic bowl.

You can sit back and argue all you want that those BCS Bowls deserve to have the top teams in them, but when the BCS was implemented what did we hear from those same people? That the bowl tie-ins needed to stay because we love the traditional match-ups. Big Ten/Pac-12 Rose Bowl, ACC to the Orange, SEC to the Sugar, and so on. In no uncertain terms did fans around the nation make it clear that they did not want their bowl to be messed with. And the bowl committees agreed, as they wanted it to be the same as well (sans national championship of course).

Therefore, any argument that X non-AQ school getting in to those bowl games OR any of the tie-in winners not going to those are just silly. Put in NIU over Wisconsin in the Rose Bowl and see what kind of reaction you get.

Somewhere along the line the BCS became the goat. The BCS “system” is only designed to rank teams to find out who will play for the national championship. The bowl committees and conferences are responsible for the other rules concerning bowls.

Do not beat your anti-BCS drum over this. It is not its fault. Furthermore, nothing has really changed historically. Abolish the BCS and the Rose Bowl is still going to take Big Ten vs. Pac-12 champion. And furthermore again, without the BCS rules NIU isn’t going to the Orange Bowl as they would not select them. You can’t have it both ways.

The Big East has remained grandfathered in because of the rules. You have to remember that when the BCS “Six” first started the Big East was a very good football conference that had Miami and/or Virginia Tech always in the top five. Look at the first years of the BCS and they made it to the title game often. Conference re-alignment destroyed the conference.

NIU should get in ahead of Louisville, because the Big East does not have a bowl tie-in. However, neither deserve it. And the reason NIU, as I repeat myself, is getting the backlash moreso than Louisville is that the “talking heads” and fans have already complained about low ranked or unranked conference champions in years past — this was something new and fresh that hadn’t really happened before.

I completely agree that Oklahoma deserves a bid over both. Hell, if it were up to me there would be no tie-ins and the top 12 teams would play in BCS Bowls regardless of conference. That’s a pipe dream, and bowls are about interesting match-ups anyway.

As I wind down the post let me also say this: The BCS “Six” were going to get their BCS money regardless of who went. So does it matter that Wisconsin is in over Nebraska? No. And that’s to put history and the love of the Rose Bowl aside.

Kirk and others are not made because the “little guy” got in. These are the same people who were championing TCU, Boise State, and others for years. They are simply making the point that NIU’s ranking and spot in the BCS is not deserved. They are arguing that this “rule” is silly. And they are right.

As I mentioned above, bowl season is about interesting match-ups anyway. NIU vs. Florida State is fine by me. NIU vs. Arkansas State would have been just as much fun for me. NIU did nothing wrong and took advantage of a dumb rule. That’s all.

Fact remains, they do not belong in the game. But it is very much winnable.

 

Preparing for a year long movie marathon

I stumbled across the subreddit of http://www.reddit.com/r/100movies365days and thought it was a great idea. However, I watch over 100 in a year right now and it’s not much of a challenge. So, immedieately I jump to 365 in 365. It will be difficult to accomplish, mostly because I do not own 365 different DVDs and don’t have the money to buy them. Oh, and thanks to Frontier Communications I do not have internet fast enough to stream video (yay rural living + being screwed over by the ISP).

So, I’ve decided just to start the planning phases. That begins with picking 365 different films. Hopefully, you all can help list some.

 

The 365 (not in order of what will be watched):
1. Star Wars Episode I: The Phantom Menace
2. Star Wars Episode II: Attack of the Clones
3. Star Wars Episode III: Revenge of the Sith
4. Star Wars Episode IV: A New Hope
5. Star Wars Episode V: The Empire Strikes Back
6. Star Wars Episode VI: Return of the Jedi
7. Coming to America
8. You’ve Got Mail
9. Blazing Saddles
10. Young Frankenstein
11. History of the World: Part I
12. Spaceballs
13. The Godfather
14. The Godfather: Part II
15. The Godfather: Part III
16. Reservoir Dogs
17. Pulp Fiction
18. Jackie Brown
19. Kill Bill Vol. I
20. Kill Bill Vol. II
21. Grindhouse: Death Proof
22. Grindhouse: Planet Terror
23. Inglourious Basterds
24. Wings
25. The Broadway Melody
26. All Quiet on the Western Front
27. Cimarron
28. Grand Hotel
29. Cavalcade
30. It Happened One Night
31. Mutiny on the Bounty
32. The Great Ziegfeld
33. The Life of Emile Zola
34. You Can’t Take It With You
35. Gone with the Wind
36. Rebecca
37. How Green Was My Valley
38. Mrs. Miniver
39. Casablanca
40. Going My Way
41. The Lost Weekend
42. The Best Years of Our Lives
43. Gentleman’s Agreement
44. Hamlet
45. All the King’s Men
46. All About Eve
47. An American in Paris
48. The Greatest Show on Earth
49. From Here to Eternity
50. On the Waterfront
51. Marty
52. Around the World in 80 Days
53. The Bridge on the River Kwai
54. Gigi
55. Ben-Hur
56. The Apartment
57. West Side Story
58. Lawrence of Arabia
59. Tom Jones
60. My Fair Lady
61. The Sound of Music
62. A Man for All Seasons
63. In the Heat of the Night
64. Oliver
65. Midnight Cowboy
66. Patton
67. The French Connection
68. The Sting
69. One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest
70. Rocky
71. Rocky II
72. Rocky III
73. Rocky IV
74. Rocky V
75. Rocky Balboa
76. Annie Hall
77. The Deer Hunter
78. Kramer vs. Kramer
79. Ordinary People
80. Chariots of Fire
81. Gandhi
82. Terms of Endearment
83. Amadeus
84. Out of Africa
85. Platoon
86. The Last Emperor
87. Rain Main
88. Driving Miss Daisy
89. Dances with Wolves
90. The Silence of the Lambs
91. Unforgiven
92. Schindler’s List
93. Forrest Gump
94. Braveheart
95. The English Patient
96. Titanic
97. Shakespeare in Love
98. American Beauty
99. Gladiator
100. A Beautiful Mind
101. Chicago
102. The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring
103. The Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers
104. The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King
105. Million Dollar Baby
106. Crash
107. The Departed
108. No Country for Old Men
109. Slumdog Millionaire
110. The Hurt Locker
111. The King’s Speech
112. The Artist

 

As you can tell… plenty of room for suggestions. Leave your suggestions in the comments.

 

In a Perfect (UFC) World

I originally planned this as an article for Bleacher Report, but failed to produce something quality. So instead, I’ll post it here in a rather quick fashion.

After UFC 148 I mentioned to several of my friends that I felt it was time for Anderson Silva to vacate the 185-pound crown and take superfights.

He cleaned out the division (well, mostly, now Chris Weidman has emerged as a potential contender) and is 37-years-old. When, or rather if, Anderson loses in the UFC the majority of fans will instantly say, “He’s old.” So, I would much rather the 37-year-old take the big money fights to close out his career.

If he fights until he is 40, that could give him five opponents if he keeps his current two fights a year schedule. Rashad Evans, Shogun Rua, Georges St. Pierre, Nick Diaz and many others line the list of potential money opponents for him.

Not only that, but it opens up the 185-pound division. If Anderson took a superfight without dropping the title it would hold it up. This does not do that.

Then when Lyoto Machida weighed-in at 201 speculation turned to a potential drop to 185, and that opened the door in my eyes for what I thought SHOULD happen to ACTUALLY happen.

Then, following his victory over Ryan Bader, Machida said he may go to 185. Confirmation he could do it. And being granted the #1 Contendership could be easily transferred to Middleweight if Anderson vacates.

Anderson vs. Superfight Opponent
Machida vs. Weidman
And, just to fill that role of 205-contender, Shogun could slip back in there since he defeated Vera.

I think this works best for all. But, if Anderson chooses to stay at 185, Lyoto at 205 and none of this happens… I don’t mind. It’s a pleasure to watch these athletes compete and enjoy the remarkable show the UFC puts on.

 

She’s All That

OK, after seeing a tweet from @ekc I felt compelled to quickly write a blog on the movie “She’s All That” (I think movie titles are supposed to be all caps but I don’t like the look of that so I use quotes. Take that grammar).

@RamonDestroys she is such a nerd cuz she has glasses!! Oh wait! She took them off!! She is hot! I couldn’t tell before!!!

— E. Casey Leydon(@ekc) June 23, 2012

There’s nothing wrong with that joke except that it’s old, tired and very easy. It’s probably the most common joke or comment about the film.

My issue with it is that while somewhat accurate, I think “She’s All That” did a fantastic job with that.

Yes, Rachel Leigh Cook is attractive. However, the movie did a good job of making her look like an average teen during the first half of the flick. But moreover, most of us “normal” people found her attractive previously because we’re dorks. And dorks love other dorks. But in the realm of “high school” we know “She’s All That” to be fairly accurate in its depiction of the clique-ish nature of high school.

No matter who of the privileged clique found her attractive would ever admit to it. It would be social suicide. That’s why she was chosen for the bet. Also, Zack was falling for her before the transformation which only put his feelings on the fast track. But that’s not the point.

Overall, in this short blog post, I just want to say that I think “She’s All That” did a good job with it. While the easy joke is to be made about RLC and her transformation I felt it to be quite accurate considering it’s about her being an outsider and non-social and not necessarily unattractive.

 

Other thoughts on “She’s All That”:

As mentioned previously I think they did a good job with the clique culture of high school. I also enjoyed how they didn’t go the typical route of only Zack being the good hearted of the popular/rich group. Not all of them looked down on the others.

I believe this film is the quintessential teen movie of the 90′s. It’s witty, funny and enjoyable. And it has an excellent cast: Freddie Prinze Jr, RLC, Gabrielle Union, Usher, Paul Walker, Kevin Pollak, Anna Pacquin, Matthew Lillard, Dule Hill, Kieren Culkin and others.

Critically, I don’t think the movie gets the love it deserves. But that doesn’t matter because I love it. Maybe past and future generations won’t see it’s appeal or value, but that’s why it’s a 90′s movie. Our generation will get it. That’s all that matters.

 

Who the Bears SHOULD Have Drafted

The NFL Draft has now concluded. While I know some of you do not like draft grades and such this short post will be what I think the ideal draft would have looked like for the Bears. Now, I understand the argument “We won’t know for years”, but at the same time so much of that has to do with the situation the player is drafted into.

There needs to be a “perfect storm” for a talent to succeed in the league for various reasons. This is merely based on what talent and upside I see in the player. And since I know where all the players were drafted it makes it easier…

Round 1, Pick 19. David DeCastro, G, Stanford
Offensive line is the greatest need for the Bears. By missing out on Mario Williams earlier in the off-season it highlighted the need for a second DE. However, protecting Jay Cutler and opening up run lanes for the running back crew is vastly more important. DeCastro may end up being one of the best lineman of the class. A big miss in my opinion.

Round 2, Pick 13. Vinny Curry, DE, Marshall
Would have filled the need at DE. Curry is actually the best pick here if you think you can’t fill it through free agency. A lot of the talent gets picked over by this point leaving only a few options after this point (Jared Crick in round 4 for instance). I will give some alternate picks however:

Mike Adams, T, Ohio State: Another good lineman. Stock fell due to failing a drug test at the combine but has a lot of talent. If it’s not apparent yet, I really loved what the Steelers did in the draft – more to come on that later. Yes, there were other needs but when you can grab two potential all-pro lineman to play alongside one another you do it.

Alshon Jeffery, WR, South Carolina: OK, I’ll admit this would not have been my pick BUT I really like Jeffery. His stock fell a bit this season as he didn’t perform as well as in 2010. Jeffery has good hands and makes big plays on the ball. With Johnny Knox out for the year this is a good play. The only reason I think the Bears should have went another direction is they have talent for this season at WR. Marshall, Bennett, Hester and others. Yes, Knox is out but he’ll return. And when he does it’s obvious someone like Bennett or Hester are done in Chicago. With Cutler’s comfortability with Bennett and Hester’s return game I don’t know if that’s the best option. Not to mention a great possession slot guy in Sanzenbacher. I don’t think it was as big of a need as they made it out to be. Especially with the talent drop-off at DE after this pick.

Lavonte David, OLB, Nebraska: Linebacker is not a need yet, but Urlacher and crew are getting up there. I really like what David is able to do. I wouldn’t have complained if they drafted him, but with other needs they could afford to pass.

Round 3, Pick 16. Brandon Hardin, FS, Oregon State
Again, there could have been a lot of different picks here to satisfy me. And while corner is a need the Bears got a heck of a player. Many were questioning why a FS with Major Wright. Well, if Hardin develops he’ll beat out Wright. He is a 6’3″, 217lbs quick, hard-hitting safety. While I wouldn’t elevate him to a Sean Taylor level I would say it’s the same mold. I LOVE players like this.

Round 4, Pick 16. Chris Rainey, RB, Florida
The fourth is a reach for him but the Bears didn’t have a fifth. So naturally, this pick and, in all honesty, the 2nd and 3rd they could have traded down with and still gotten quality pieces. By signing Bell I knew the Bears wouldn’t go after Rainey but they should have. He is a playmaker. If the Bears had wanted to trade Forte that would have given you Bush-Bell-Rainey for a nice comination out of the backfield. Not only that but Rainey is versatile. He can take it 80-yards at the blink of an eye, catch out of the backfield and be another lightning option in the return game. Of course, the Steelers drafted him. They won the draft.

Round 6, Pick 14. Alfonso Dennard, CB, Nebraska
Rounds six and seven you could go ANYWHERE. At this point you’re looking for value and while Dennard didn’t go until the seventh you’ll see why I picked him here when I get to that pick. The Patriots got a steal again. One of the top corners in the draft but his stock fell after some poor showings and off-the-field issues. However, the Bears have the right staff to teach him. Would have been a great way to address the CB need while picking up better talent in the earlier rounds.

Round 7, Pick 13. Trevin Wade, CB, Arizona
Another corner that dropped and offers value. He’s not going to be a shut-down number one corner, but you don’t need one. He is tremendous value in the seventh. Both rounds six and seven offer possibilties: OL, WR, DB. Some good value on the board but I think taking two undervalued corners hedges your bets going into camp.

Overall, the draft I would have done would’ve filled needs and gotten value. As for a reciever, they are a dime-a-dozen on the free agency market and as I pointed out the Bears’ WR corp is underrated as it stands.

Actual Draft:
Shea McClellin, DE, Boise State
Alshon Jeffery, WR, South Carolina
Brandon Hardin, FS, Oregon State
Evan Rodriguez, FB/TE, Temple
Isiah Frey, CB, Nevada
Greg McCoy, CB, TCU

Not a terrible draft, but not nearly as well as they could have done. In my opinion.